Today you’re going to get it right from the horse’s mouth, I’ve never been married or even have a man ‘love me’ enough to drop to one knee and pop the question. To be frank, even typing this makes me laugh out loud. Is this something I should be embarrassed about or feel sad about?
Maybe… if we all lived in 14th Century Vienna.
I felt inspired to write this blog because in my profession I have met and know so many women who are in all ages, stages and walks of life. Some are single, some are married happily, some are married and feel trapped, some are dating, others are happily alone and thriving while some are searching for their soulmate and looking forward to romance. I guess, in hindsight, I have worn every hat previously listed except for the ‘married’ one. My goal here is to provide perspective, appreciation, remind us all to connect with who we truly are and what we stand for as individuals (before we identify as a couple), and just to share the bold genuine truth. My truth on why not being married is fun! (Someone should print that last part on a t-shirt).
DINNER TIME ON MY TERMS
I eat whatever I want for dinner. Sometimes it’s a three-course feast, other times it’s a piece of toast so I can get to bed.
As long as my child has been fed, I am free to eat whatever and whenever I want. The cherry on top means no cleaning up after a man, washing his plates and cutlery or preparing his favourite meals or having to think about buying food for a full family unit.
Most nights I will either make one of my quick Byrne family famous recipes for my son or simply pick him up a yummy pasta from a local small business then just eat an apple myself and get to bed. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely do cook and really enjoy making meals for myself. But that’s just it, it’s for me, what I want to eat, what I feel like with no obligation to make meals for anyone else. Winning!
How do I say this? I have no man slobbing all over my beautiful white lounge. This sentence makes me more happy than you know.
I have a gorgeous white linen lounge that I’m kind of in love with. When I bought this lounge, I had saved up for a long time and the day it arrived I felt in my heart like I had “made it” in some small way. The last thing I would want is for some dude to be sleeping on it, eating all over it, dropping his body hairs on it or to come home and see all the beautiful display cushions pushed off, cold drink stains on my beautiful coffee table and a man fast asleep and snoring on my lounge.
I come home to a living room that smells like Baies candles from Diptique (instead of the dusky heavy scent of a lazy sleeping man), with all display cushions in place, not having to reassemble my living room and life feels (and looks) bloody excellent.
I SLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BED
This is self explanatory. How great does it feel to sleep in the middle of your own bed?!
I couldn’t love it more, it’s my hobby and interest.
I guess I would like to marry my bed. Is that a thing?
Sleep is really important for me because I work such long hours. The last thing I want is to come home and only be able to use half the bed. It also means no man farts during the night.
The best bit is that I don’t have to schedule in or do sex at any time.
And to be completely transparent, I’m too tired to come home and sleep with a man. I actually couldn’t be bothered, and the best bit is that there’s a 100% chance I won’t have to. Amen to that! I would rather cleaning out the inside of my fridge than have sex. Hahaha.
FRIDGE AND PANTRY
My fridge and pantry are almost always fully stocked.
My son is like a vacuum cleaner, hoovering all the food, but I’m in a routine with refilling his favourites and it’s so simple, easy and not a bother.
I love that I don’t have to keep restocking a pantry because a man has eaten me out of house and home. I love not spending north of $150 on just meat to feed a husband per week, I love opening my fridge and not seeing beer lining the shelves.
I’m not a man hater, just looking at the measurable positives. I’m coming from a place of being a huge lover of interior and home styling.
My pantry is all co-ordinated, labelled, aesthetically displayed and everything has it’s place.
When I open it up, it virtually stays this way and it makes me smile every day.
LESS WASHING TO DO
I love that I don’t have to do a full load of washing for a husband. I feel completely bored and unproductive at the thought of having to hanging his work shirts up, iron them, wash loads full of black and grey and navy blue, sort ties, wash dirty socks and find a place for all his huge big man sized shoes.
When I gaze out at my washing line I have beautiful dresses and tops, pretty lingerie and my son’s school uniforms and swimming trunks.
That’s already enough work as it stands so I couldn’t imagine adding a man’s entire wash wardrobe to this as well.
SHOP AND SPEND WHAT I WANT I don’t have a guy looking over my shoulder questioning, monitoring and making me feel bad for buying things for myself and my home. This is a big positive for me. So many women I know are on a short lease and would “get in trouble with the hubby” if they bought x, y, z. I think being financially smart is really great and I understand that managing a budget and being aware and conscious are so important. But how great does it feel to be a fully grown adult, earning her own money and deciding how and when it is used. This is such an empowering aspect for me. I am fully aware that not all husbands are like this. That being said, I hear it A LOT.
Maybe it’s just an excuse that some women come up with but I think nine times out of ten it’s definitely the truth. We are all adults now, and I have no interest in getting in trouble. And if I had a husband who was financially head strong, I would be in trouble, ALL THE TIME. So thank goodness he doesn’t exist. Phew!
I wholeheartedly believe that my friends are my soul mates. Also, I don’t want a man feeling my butt. I have issues with how big it is right now, so when that part changes I might just change my mind. My mum, Mama Dee, has done a full reading and tarot spread for my life. She told me that the perfect man for me would come into my life when I’m 40 or 41. If he’s the perfect guy for me as a woman maybe I won’t mind him slopping all over my couch and farting on me in bed. He’d have to be pretty great though! I want to be clear and say that I am absolutely not a man hater or anti-marriage and I’m certainly not critical of other women who are married because I know I’m not an expert. So basically, this isn’t a smear campaign. I know that I am completely naïve to what marriage is and what it entails. I’ve always wanted to try things I’ve never done before, so even though not being married is fun (and I truly believe this), my heart and soul are still completely open to a scenario which challenges this belief for me personally.
In my heart of hearts, I would marry a man who would be my best friend in the world. My friends have already had destinations weddings and hen’s party so I’m told they will organise everything for me to be wed in Positano with a hen’s in beautiful Bali. I’ll do the styling, pick the dresses (yes there will be more than one), and once I’ve found the guy, I know it will be the best experience ever. The ultimate in #couplegoals for me and my future self would be that maybe when Mr Right does show up, he and I can read this blog together and laugh. Ultimately, he will be someone who I can truly be grateful for. I can’t wait for this feeling! It will be another first for me. Speaking of laughing, I hope this blog brough some joy to your week. Thank you so much for spending this Tuesday night with me. I really enjoyed writing and creating content for this piece and hope that you can relate to what I’ve mentioned. If you’d like to, feel free to subscribe, and let me know in the comments sections what you think.