Why Being Alone on Valentine’s Day is a Gift
Well isn’t this just the story of my life. I know it’s just a day and as commercialised as it is, it's still a lovely day to feel loved, wanted, desired and special. If I am honest I have never really had a normal relationship with a normal, kind man. At first, being alone on Valentine’s Day can really suck. It’s Tuesday night which means I have you all to myself for the next seven minutes. Yay!
I am always by myself or I go and see my girlfriends. It just makes me so happy to see my friends and get dolled up. I have spent a few Valentine’s Days dolled up on dates with a few nice men over the years but it has never really been that normal.
We sometimes ask ourselves, “what’s wrong with me?” or “why am I always single?” In regard to myself, I honestly don't know.
My guess, for me, is because I am always working and trying to better myself. When I’m not working I am looking after my fourteen year old son who is literally like living with a man. He sounds like a 37 year old, makes a big pile of washing, he sometimes smells and he devours everything in our pantry and fridge right after I’ve refilled it.
Here it is ladies and gentlemen, why being single on the most ‘romantic day’ of the year can absolutely be considered a gift.
No “I forgot”s or Cheesy Gifts
The comfort of knowing that there will be no disappointments when it comes to Valentine’s Day gifts, flowers, present quality or a man/woman who has forgotten Valentine’s Day this year. It sounds rude and ungrateful but it’s true. No awkward cheap toasters as a present, or weird gift vouchers or cheesy Valentine’s Day gifts that look like they came out of the 80s that don’t match the current home aesthetic, “where do I put this now?” we think as we clutch an orange bear holding a heart with the words “I wuv you” on it.
I love this one. On Valentine’s Day, like so many other potentially high pressure days in the year like birthdays, Mother’s/Father’s Day, New Year’s Eve and Christmas, expectations and stress can run high. We’ve all been there, feeling angry, hurt or upset that this special day was forgotten by them or looking and seeing that minimal effort was put in by him or her when you had put in so much. Trying to hide the disappointment in our faces, or simply ‘having it up to here’ and accidentally starting a conversation which escalates into a fight.
None of that this year, no feeling that horrible feeling of ‘I do everything around here’, just bliss, an incredible day ahead, and knowing you have no expectations hanging over your head. Just cheeseboards, wine, Sex and The City or Legally Blonde and a relaxing night for one ahead. Yes please!
Don’t you love being single when you’ve been speaking to someone new? It’s going well, it’s early days and you just feel so alive. I love excitedly chatting with girlfriends about the new guy on the scene. Smiling when I look at my phone, the cute texts and banter, the chemistry building, feeling excited and revelling in the sweet, kind attention. I love when it happens for any of my friends too. It’s “how was the date?”, “what’s the plan for Valentine’s Day?” and “what will you wear?” (Can you blame me? I’m a fashion stylist after all haha in all seriousness, I LOVE planning date outfits. It is so much fun and one thousand per cent my jam). I love seeing my friend’s eyes light up, seeing a gorgeous bunch of flowers arrive from Mr New and hearing about the candle lit dinners and decadent escapes. How fun are butterflies and the potential of a new love? The first kiss. The anticipation. The moment his hand brushes against yours by accident. Will he? Won’t he? Whoo whoo. There’s nothing like it!
No Set Menus
You know exactly what I’m talking about. When you go to a booked out restaurant, sit shoulder to shoulder with all other couples, told you can only have the table for one hour, get given a glass of champagne you don’t particularly want, pay three times the price to eat a Valentine’s Day special menu that you don’t really like all while sucking in your tummy and pretending you love “crab bisk” when all you want to do is go home, wipe your makeup off, eat Grill’d and put your sore feet up. No set menus for us sister! #Winning I love being able to relax during dinner without the fear of things not ‘going well’ and being able to eat food I really want and enjoy. Whoo whoo!
You can wear your Bridgette Jones’ underwear and heat pack in comfy pyjamas and watch a movie and drink wine and eat a bowl of popcorn. There’s no need to wear a full face of makeup and style your hair and cram yourself into a sexy outfit and walk around in high heels.Instead you can have a bubble bath, wear a face mask and indulge yourself. Plus you don't have to organise and pay a babysitter (if you have kids) yay!
A Valentine’s Day Warning: Please do not (I repeat, Do Not) go back to any recent ex-partners. They are your ex for a reason. It’s not worth the feeling of being ‘together’ and trying to avoid loneliness by giving your time to this person. Valentine’s Day can often be a high risk time with the stragglers and hover-ers try and smooth talk their way back into our lives. Often for selfish reasons or just to throw out a line to see if you will respond (aka validate their ego). No, no, no, not this time buster. Protect your inner peace, trust your gut and look at how far you’ve come since the break-up. While it’s important to forgive, please vividly remember all the reasons why this person is, in fact, your ex. Don’t even text them back, don’t take their call, don’t give them the satisfaction. Valentine’s Day is for you and the future!
Check List The Fashion Fox’s Valentine’s Day Do’s + Dont’s
Gift yourself or one of your best friend’s flowers
Remember that being single is such a gift and a blessing, it’s such a special time
Hibernate with your favourite movie, a good face mask and all your favourite foods
Remember that Valentine’s Day is but once a year
Having a partner does not mean a better Valentine’s Day (Lots of women can vouch for this)
Start a Valentine’s Day Secret Santa with Single Friends
Treat yourself: Get a wash and blow dry at the hair salon, get a mani/pedi, what about a full body massage?
Move your body, get listening to your favourite songs on a big walk. Go to Pilates, the gym or go for a walk with friends. It’s so underrated and so good for the mind.
Don’t text, call, DM, Whatsapp or see any of your recent ex partners. They are your ex for a reason, leave them in the past and focus on the joy ahead.
The Pro’s of Being Single on Valentine’s Day
No man farting in my bed at night
We can wear our Bridget Jones undies to bed and don’t have to worry how we look in the morning
We don’t need to feel disappointed on Valentine’s Day morning if our boyfriend does not romance us or treat us to a breaky or dinner
We can spend all our hard earned money on ourselves and our futures
We can take ourselves out for breakfast, lunch or dinner with our girlfriends
In our lives we’ve all found ourselves alone on Valentine’s day at one time or another.
Valentine’s Day isn't for everyone. If you’re not with someone who you’re really truly deeply in love with then sometimes, we can all agree that it really IS better to be alone. Roses become $20 a stem. Some of my girlfriends want flowers and romantic gestures just ‘because’ and not because it’s that time of year. Simply because it means more on a day that doesn’t ‘require’ it.
What Can We Do Instead on Valentine’s Day? Make Other Plans!
Celebrate with your single girlfriends
Go to Pilates
Get your hair done (nothing feels better than a fresh colour, wash, blow dry and GHD waves)
Go to a Day Spa and indulge
Get a mani pedi (my favourite!)
Brighten someone else’s day: Send girlfriends or family members beautiful cards Make amends with an old friend
Ignore Valentine’s Day
Order Uber Eats and watch a movie
Send yourself a bunch of flowers This is what I’ll be doing! Hahaha. I LOVE flowers.
Go shopping! This one is my favourite. Buy yourself a gift, something you have been wanting for a while. Do it, you have the Fashion Fox’s permission haha.